The loss of a loved one is a difficult ordeal for any individual. When it involves a child, the grieving process can be particularly complex. It’s crucial to offer them the right support, and to accompany them with gentleness, respect and kindness.

In this article, you’ll find practical advice on how to help children through the grieving process, helping them to understand how they feel and offering them the emotional support they need.

 

Understanding grief in children

Grief is a unique process for everyone. In children, it can manifest itself in different ways, depending on their age, their level of understanding of death and the relationship they had with the person who died.

Children may experience different emotions and reactions to grief:

• Questions about death: As children come to understand the meaning of loss, they will begin to ask questions. These questions may tend to recur, as children take time to integrate this reality.
• Sadness and anxiety: The child may feel sad and anxious about this abrupt separation, especially if the deceased was part of his or her daily life.
• Regressive behaviors: Some children may exhibit behaviors that appear immature, such as excessive crying, sleep disturbances or changes in eating habits.
• Emotional withdrawal: Some children withdraw into themselves, finding it difficult to express their feelings about the loss.

 

It’s essential to listen for these signs and adapt your approach to the child’s needs.

 

Talking to children about death: simplicity and transparency

It can be difficult to find the right words to explain death to a child. However, using clear language and showing honesty is essential to avoid confusion, which could cause even more stress for the child.

 

Age-appropriate explanations

Young children don’t necessarily understand the concept of death in the same way as adults. For a child under 6, it’s important to use simple terms and explain death in a straightforward, unadorned way. For example, it’s better to say that the person is “dead” rather than “asleep” or “gone”, which could lead to misunderstandings.

Around the age of 7, most children begin to understand the notion of death. You can then talk to them more freely about the irreversibility of loss, while remaining sensitive to their emotions.

 

The importance of answering questions

When confronted with grief, children will often ask questions about death, what happens after death, or even about their own safety. Be open to these questions and answer them honestly, without rushing things.

 

Involving the child in commemorative rituals

Funeral rituals and ceremonies can be a healthy way for a child to say goodbye to a loved one and come to terms with the reality of loss. By involving them in the funeral rituals, you offer them a structured framework in which to work through their grief.

 

Participating in the funeral ceremony

Although there’s no obligation, it can be wise to include children in funeral rituals, such as funerals, cremation ceremonies or celebrations of life. Allowing them to express their emotions at these moments can help them better understand their loss and thus begin the grieving process.

 

Symbolic gestures for the child

If the child feels ready, he or she can make certain symbolic gestures during the ceremony:

• Create a drawing or craft in tribute to the deceased.
• Write a letter to accompany the loved one in their final resting place.
• Place a symbolic object in the coffin or at the cremation.

 

These gestures can help children give meaning to their grief and mark the act of separation, while being supported by their family.

In fact, at Crématorium Montréal, we offer children (and even adults) the opportunity to leave a final message, in drawings or words, on the cremation container, using coloured pencils. In a way, this contributes to the grieving process.

 

Offering daily support to the grieving child

Grief is a process that lasts over time, and the child will need your presence and understanding on a daily basis over the coming weeks and months.

 

Maintain a stable routine

It’s important to maintain a certain stability in your child’s life after the loss of a loved one. A return to school or usual activities can help him regain a sense of normalcy but take care not to force this aspect. The child should feel free to resume their routine at their own pace.

 

Don’t minimize the pain

Often, for fear of seeing the child suffer, some adults tend to minimize their emotions, telling them, for example, that “it’s not a big deal”. It’s crucial to validate the child’s feelings: they need to understand that they have the right to feel sadness, anger or confusion.

 

Providing space for expression

Creative activities such as drawing, music and writing can help children express their emotions. Encouraging these forms of expression is an excellent way for children to release emotions they don’t know how to express verbally.

 

Respectful, accessible guidance in Montreal

At Crématorium Montréal, we understand that every loss is unique. That’s why we offer respectful funeral services tailored to everyone. Our cremation services in Montreal are affordable and personalized, so that every family can pay tribute to their loved one in the way that best suits them.

We also provide families with a customizable memorial room to create an environment conducive to celebrating the life of the departed. This intimate, soothing space is designed to meet the specific needs of each family.

Contact us to learn more about our funeral guidance and simplified cremation services.

 

FAQ (frequently asked questions)

 

How do you talk to a child about death?

Use simple, honest words. Avoid confusing metaphors. Answer the child’s questions with kindness and give them the opportunity to express their emotions.

 

Should we bring a child to a cremation ceremony?

If the child is ready and the ceremony is age-appropriate, it can help them better understand the loss. Explaining the ceremony in advance can also help children prepare emotionally.

 

What are the signs that a child is not coping well with grief?

Signs such as sleep disturbances, excessive sadness, withdrawal or loss of interest in usual activities may indicate that the child is having difficulty coping with the loss. Specialized support may be required in such cases.

 

How does Crématorium Montréal help grieving families?

Crématorium Montréal offers accessible and respectful funeral services, including a customizable memorial room. We help you honour the memory of your loved ones in a warm and intimate setting.