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What to Do Following the Death of a Loved One

When one of your loved ones dies, there are many things to take care of, often in a hurry, sometimes making the required mourning process more complex. Here is a short checklist prepared by the Montreal Crematorium, outlining the steps to take following the death of a loved one.

Organize the funeral
The first thing to do is to think about arranging the funeral. If the deceased had already made funeral arrangements, you will only need to consult this document to find out that person’s last wishes. Or the person may have left some instructions in his or her will. In any case, it is essential to respect the wishes of the deceased in order to ensure that you plan a ceremony that reflects his or her image. If an executor has been appointed, it is his or her responsibility to organize the funeral. Otherwise, it is the heirs who will have to look after all this.

Report the death
Following the death of a loved one, you will need to obtain a document called an Attestation of Death. This document must be filled out and signed by a doctor. In the event that a doctor can’t be present, the signatures of two police officers may be accepted. Upon receipt of this document, you will need to obtain the Declaration of Death. This document must be signed by a member of the deceased’s immediate family as well as by a non-family witness, often the funeral director. Once these two documents have been obtained, you will be able to request the official death certificate from the Directeur de l’état civil, so that the death can be recorded in the Quebec register of civil status. The certificate will then be useful to you for all subsequent administrative requests.

Settle the estate
In order to settle the estate, you first need to know whether the deceased had made a will. In the case of a holographic will or a will made in the presence of witnesses, it will have to be validated by a notary or by the Court, for a fee, and often with some delay. The advantage of a notarial will is that it doesn’t need to be validated, therefore, considerably speeding up the settlement of the estate. Once the executor has the will in hand, he or she can proceed with the various steps of the settlement: life insurance, family patrimony, income tax returns for the year of death, recovery of the deceased’s belongings, transfer of ownership rights to a building and termination of a lease (if any) are some of the things you will have to take care of in order to settle the estate. To learn more about all the steps to take when a loved one dies, consult the guide What to do in the event of a death, written by the Government of Québec—a real gold mine of information to make sure you don’t forget anything.

Close the deceased’s various accounts
Many government agencies must be notified when a loved one dies: Old Age Security, Canada Pension Plan, Employment Insurance, Canada Revenue Agency, government loans and grants, personal identification documents, vehicle registrations, various insurance policies and accounts (telephone, electricity, etc.). In addition to these various organizations, you will also need to look at any online accounts the deceased had, such as social network and personal messaging accounts (email, etc.).

Although these steps may seem tedious and complex, it is essential to follow all the related instructions to the letter. Once these steps have been completed, you will be able to gradually progress through your grieving process with peace of mind. For everything concerning the organization of the funeral and cremation of the deceased, don’t hesitate to contact the team at the Montreal Crematorium, for compassionate, respectful services.

All About the Winter Blues

While winter has settled in for the past little while already, some people are beginning to suffer from seasonal depression, also known as the “winter blues”. For many people, it is the lack of sunshine that is the cause, while for others, it is the frenzy of the holiday season as it fades away that makes them depressed. If you have lost a loved one in the past year and have spent the holiday period well surrounded by loved ones, finding yourself alone afterward can also cause feelings of sadness and loneliness. So here is a short guide to shed some light on this problem and give you some tips on how to get through the winter more serenely.

Blue Monday and seasonal depression
Invented in 2006 by a British travel agency, Blue Monday is the third Monday in January and is said to be the most depressing day of the year. Commonly referred to by companies to sell miracle remedies for these well-recognized blues and a vacation in the sun, the concept nevertheless does have some fundamental truth. What accounts for it? Many factors, such as a lack of daylight, returning to work after the holidays and the accumulation of debts after Christmas.

There is, in fact, a direct link with the geographical latitude of a population and the number of people affected by seasonal depression, and it is the lack of daylight that is largely responsible for this problem. These blues are generally a temporary condition that can last between two and three months during the winter, when the hours of sunshine are at their minimum. In Quebec, about 10% of the population is said to be affected by this temporary problem. Accumulated fatigue can also be a contributing factor, as many Quebecers try to work twice as hard to afford a few weeks of vacation during the summer. Loneliness after the holidays can also influence seasonal depression, especially if you have recently lost a loved one. In January, the routine resumes and people may tend to neglect their grieving loved ones.

How to recognize seasonal depression
Various symptoms can be attributed to the winter blues. In all cases, there is a feeling of sadness and a depressed mood. Some people may also be more irritable than usual and more sensitive to rejection. Other people will notice a significant lack of energy and will need more sleep. A loss of interest in activities that you normally enjoy and a tendency to isolate yourself and avoid social situations are other signs that you are suffering from this seasonal malaise. An increase in appetite and a sudden desire to consume sweet foods may also be noted. For some people, these symptoms will re-occur every fall and winter. So pay attention to your own behaviour as well as the behaviour of those around you, as it can sometimes be difficult to ask for help in such a situation.

What to do to remedy seasonal depression
If you think you may have seasonal depression (SAD) or you suspect a loved one may have it, there are a number of ways to remedy it. The best known is light therapy, which can be done for 20 to 30 minutes a day, using a lamp designed for this purpose. Enjoying hours of sunshine is also an easy solution for many people. Take a walk on your lunch hour or on one of your breaks. This will enable you to enjoy the benefits of natural light, while including physical activity into your daily routine. Also make sure you get enough sleep and have a healthy and varied diet. Take time to be active, as exercise releases endorphins—hormones that provide a sense of well-being and plenitude. If you feel the need for support, you could also consult a qualified professional for a few psychotherapy sessions. This could help you to be better equipped to get through this difficult period and effectively cope with this temporary situation.

If you have recently lost a loved one, it is normal that this period may cause you to feel some blues. In all cases, what’s important is to be well surrounded by people. Also let yourself express your emotions, as it is essential not to repress them. And remember that the entire Crématorium Montréal team is here to provide you with support and comfort during these difficult times. We attentively listen to our clients so that the serenity they deserve can be restored.

How to Get Through the Holiday Season After the Loss of a Loved One

A festive period of the year when people get together with family or friends, the holiday season can be a very trying time if you have lost a loved one recently or during the year. In order to accept the passing of your loved one and to fully mourn your loss, here are some tips to put into practice…

Grieving: the first step towards acceptance
All therapists will tell you that when you lose a loved one, it is of the utmost importance to allow yourself the time you need to grieve. This will enable you to quietly progress towards acceptance and regain a certain serenity. Give yourself the right to cry and feel sad. Even if you try to deny the negative emotions you feel, they will emerge sooner or later and sometimes with much more intensity than if you take the time to experience them immediately. If you need support, don’t hesitate to seek assistance from qualified professionals or simply talk to your family and friends, because they are there to help you through these difficult times.

Surround yourself with those you love
During this time of festivities, be sure to surround yourself with people you love. It is not advisable to isolate yourself to face your grief alone. However, you have the right to decline certain invitations or to come home early if you can’t get into the mood for a celebration. What is important is to be with people who will listen to you and accept your sadness. Also give yourself the freedom to experience positive emotions. Even if your loved one is no longer by your side, you can still enjoy a good meal with your family or a simple walk in the snow with friends. You don’t have to feel guilty about having little happy times. This is only a sign that life goes on and you will be able to rekindle your joy of life and live it to the fullest again.

Establish new family traditions
To make this period less difficult, it may be necessary to change family traditions. This will help you start the year on the right foot, while avoiding the need to dwell on painful emotions. For example, the Christmas dinner could take place at another family member’s home, which will prevent you from stirring up suffering, while giving you some time to relax.

Honour the memory of your loved one
Even if your loved one is no longer with you, there is nothing to stop you from honouring his or her memory. To do so, don’t hesitate to recall happy memories or anecdotes you experienced together. Take a moment with the family to look at photo albums or play your loved one’s favourite song at dinner. You could also light a candle in your loved one’s honour or say a prayer or express a little thought at mealtime. It is by talking about happy events that you will help keep your loved one’s memory well alive.

In short, even if your holiday season will never be the same again, accept your new life situation in order to recreate different rituals that will be coloured with happiness over the years. There are no miracle recipes for dealing with grief well, as each story is unique. The most important thing is to take time for yourself and give yourself the right to be sad. Surround yourself with loved ones to get the support you need. And if you need outside help, there are many professionals who can provide you with the resources to deal with your grief, with respect and integrity. Don’t hesitate to contact Crematorium Montreal’s team for advice from our dedicated and attentive staff. We also offer a wide range of services and items that will help you honour the memory of your loved one according to your beliefs and values.

Constantly Changing Funeral Rites

The decline in popularity of religion in recent decades has led the funeral industry to review its practices. In fact, people today are looking for more and more personalized ceremonies that combine the environment and technology. Discover how funeral rites have changed over time and learn more about the new trends in the industry.

Rites formerly influenced by the Catholic religion
In Quebec, the decline of the Catholic religion began in the 1960s. Very present in Quebec households, the Catholic religion greatly influenced many aspects of life, and funeral rites were no exception. In the past, when a person died, the body was embalmed and exposed for 2 or 3 days. Also, before 1963, the Catholic religion didn’t recognize cremation as a means of disposing of the body. The deceased was therefore systematically buried in the cemetery. The funeral ceremony took place at the church, in the form of a Mass paying tribute to the deceased.

Cremation, an increasingly common choice
Once cremation was recognized in 1963, it quickly gained in popularity. In fact, now more than 60% of the population chooses this option. In addition, it was in 1985 that the Church made it possible to hold funerals in the presence of the ashes. This definitely influenced many Quebecers’ decision about how to dispose of the body after death. The urn selected to contain the ashes can be made of various materials: wood, glass, marble and metal are some of the options to choose from.

Integrating the environment and technology into the funeral sector
Today, technology is an integral part of our lives. As a result, many people want to include it in their funeral ceremony. Whether by presenting photos on an HD screen or projecting videos, all ways are good for modernizing the ceremonies. With regard to the environment, more people want to die while reducing their ecological footprint. That’s why there are now several types of biodegradable urns that are less harmful to the planet: made of sand, wood or containing a tree cutting. It is also possible to use real tableware at the buffet or to request that the bookmarks be printed on recycled paper.

Moving toward personalized ceremonies
Another notable change in the ceremonies is the way they have been personalized. In fact, some people will bring items representing the deceased, whether it is a hat, a certain brand of beer or a hockey stick. Some will even go so far as to wear a costume reflecting the deceased’s interest in a movie character or a musician, for example. Although people want to be original in their ceremonies, thanatologists subscribe to the code of ethics established by the Ordre des thanatologues du Québec, which aims, among other things, to ensure respect for the deceased. Personalization is therefore possible, but always with the idea in mind of honouring the loved one. At the Crématorium Montréal, our knowledgeable team will be able to advise you in organizing the ceremony, while answering your questions about cremation. Feel free to contact us for affordable services adapted to your needs.

What Types of Flowers to Choose for a Funeral Bouquet?

When a loved one dies, it is customary to give the family a gift of flowers. A bouquet of flowers, a symbol of support and sympathy, is an opportunity to bring comfort to bereaved people, while adding a touch of colour to the ceremony. Before selecting the flowers that will form part of the floral arrangement, it is important to know their meaning as well as the meaning of the colours that will be used to create it, so as not to make any mistakes—any faux pas. Here are some tips to help you make a well-informed choice.

Choose the type of floral arrangement
Various types of floral arrangements are available when it comes time to choose the flowers for a funeral. First, a spray consists of flowers that are arranged so that they can be seen from only one side. They are often placed on a stand or tripod, so they can be highlighted. The bouquet is a mixture of freshly cut flowers, placed in a vase, basket or other decorative container. This is generally chosen by most people who are not part of the deceased’s immediate family. The casket spray or casket cover, on the other hand, includes flowers that will be placed on top of the casket. However, this option is only for the deceased’s family.

Know the meaning of colours
Although there are no colours to be avoided when choosing the flowers for a floral arrangement, it is important to know the meaning that certain shades can have. A symbol of love and passion, red is often more appropriate for the spouse or people very close to the deceased. As for pastel shades, they evoke nostalgia and friendship, which may be a good option if you are a close friend of the deceased. You will be indicating your support for the family, while demonstrating proof of friendship. In the case of the death of a child, white flowers may be appropriate, as this colour is a reflection of purity. Alternatively, you can choose shades that the deceased liked. In case of doubt, don’t hesitate to ask your florist for advice.

Select the flowers for the floral arrangement
When it comes to choosing the type of flower that will be used in your floral arrangement, it may be wise to know the meaning of the various flowers. The lily is a very popular choice for funerals because it represents purity and innocence. As for the rose, it can also be used in the arrangement. However, keep the meaning of the colours in mind, before choosing the appropriate variety of roses.

Another interesting option is the chrysanthemum, which requires little maintenance and symbolizes eternity. Carnations, on the other hand, represent mourning and discretion. It is therefore a perfect choice to pay a discreet tribute to the deceased or if your relationship with the deceased is somewhat more distant (colleague or simple acquaintance). Various other flowers can also be used to create your floral arrangement; just arrange them carefully. The idea is always to keep within the right tone, in order to respect the deceased’s tastes.

Feel free to contact the Montreal Crematorium team for our advice when you want to choose the right flowers for funerals. We can help you, so that you can be sure to respect the deceased and his or her family.

Plan your Death with the Book It’s My Life!

When you die, your loved ones will be overwhelmed with emotions, while having the stress of organizing your funeral and settling the estate. To avoid them from swimming in confusion, it is essential to plan your departure and everything surrounding this sad event. By entrusting the organization of your funeral to the Aeterna Complex, you can leave this world with peace of mind, while leaving your family and friends with clear instructions as to the type of celebration you wish to have.

It’s My Life!, a book that reflects your very own self
Designed by the Aeterna Complex, the book It’s My Life! Gives you an opportunity to write down your last wishes as well as various information about your life, your family and your interests. Offered free of charge when you make your pre-arrangements with the Aeterna Complex, this book, available in English or French, contains—among other things—the essentials for preparing your will with a liquidator and the mandate in anticipation of incapacity, in addition to a holograph will, written and signed in your own hand.

What is the book It’s My Life!
At the Aeterna Complex, we have designed the book It’s My Life!, which is a more than complete guide for anyone who wants to leave their loved ones with an unforgettable memory, combined with thoughtful planning. This guide will be very valuable to your family and friends who will have to organize your funeral, while giving them a chance to remember moments in your life or even to discover certain things about you that they never knew.

A book to get to know you better
Divided into several parts, this book will make it possible for you to include various information about your life, such as your family, pastimes, gourmet pleasures, travels, finances and important phone numbers as well as your will and other confidential information. You can also include photos of your family and friends, your travels and various highlights of your life. The book moreover contains a section that includes a list of things to remember when a loved one dies.

Trust in a qualified, passionate team
By contacting the Aeterna Complex team, you will benefit from the expertise of our advisors when writing your funeral pre-arrangements to ensure that your last wishes are respected by your loved ones. We can also assist you in organizing your estate (will, funeral, etc.). Our staff’s knowledge enables us to offer you fair prices, in accordance with the current rates on the funeral market. You can reach us 7 days a week, 24 hours a day: https://www.complexeaeterna.com/en/contact-us/

How to Dress for a Funeral?

When you attend a funeral, the objective is to pay tribute to the deceased and his or her family. To do so, it is of the utmost importance to follow certain rules, in order to avoid arriving in inappropriate clothing. So here are some very simple tips to follow when you select what to wear for a funeral.

Make black a priority
In Western cultures, black is the colour you should choose to wear at religious or civil funerals. Some neutral shades, such as navy or dark grey, may also be acceptable. However, avoid colours that are too bright as well as patterned clothing. Keep in mind that in such a situation, simplicity is a must.

Keep it simple
For women, choose a classic outfit: a plain dress or a combination of a blouse and skirt (or pants). Avoid all embellishments, such as glitter, ruffles or other unnecessary details. Choose a long dress (or skirt) or one that at least comes to the knees. Also, don’t wear clothing that is too snug. As for the neckline, opt for a high neckline: shirt collar, round collar or turtleneck style. Low-cut necklines are obviously to be avoided. During the hot season, your top should ideally have sleeves. If you wear a top with straps, choose rather wide straps or cover your shoulders with a lightweight shawl or a small bolero.

For men, opt for a black suit and a white shirt. A dark suit may also be tolerated, always in shades of navy or grey. You may also decide to wear a turtleneck sweater. If you put on a tie, choose a simple and preferably solid colour one. If the funeral is in the summer, Bermuda shorts may be acceptable, but it is best to wear pants. In this case, choose linen, a lightweight material known for its airiness.

Opt for flat, comfortable shoes
As you may be standing for a long time, wear flat shoes for maximum comfort. Avoid high heels, which may be noisy and uncomfortable in the long run. In addition, if the burial takes place in the cemetery, your heels could sink into the grass, a situation that could prove to be very embarrassing for you. Even if it is summer, don’t wear espadrilles or beach sandals. Also make sure your shoes are clean and well laced.

Avoid overly conspicuous accessories
When it comes to accessories, always keep in mind that you must be discreet. So choose delicate earrings and a subtle pendant. If you wear a skirt or dress, match it with opaque black hosiery. Avoid any bright patterns or colours. Hosiery that is too sexy, such as fishnet hosiery, is not suitable for such an occasion.

Minimal make-up
If you want to wear make-up, opt for neutral shades. A discreet eye shadow and a light lipstick are appropriate. If you want to wear mascara, choose one that is waterproof, to prevent your makeup from running on your cheeks if you shed tears. Better a face covered with tears than a face smudged with unwanted black streaks!

Choose a simple outfit for your children
If your children are attending the funeral, dress them in black or a dark colour. Little boys may wear a shirt (or a solid colour sweater) and pants. For little girls, choose a very simple dress, solid colour if possible, with few details. Also make sure your children wear comfortable shoes. Take note that there is greater flexibility when it comes to children’s clothing; the important thing is to keep it simple.

Find out about the particularities related to the deceased’s customs
Unless otherwise specified, black is recommended for the funerals of Western cultures. However, depending on the different types of religion, certain differences may apply. For example, in Asian countries, white is generally the preferred colour. As for Muslim ceremonies, there are no dress restrictions, but it is better to dress in a classic, neutral suit. At a Jewish funeral, men should ideally wear a skullcap—although not required, it is strongly suggested. As for the traditions of certain African communities, it is customary for people to be dressed in bright colours.

In short, to ensure that you respect the deceased and his or her family, find out about the various clothing-related requirements that may apply, so as to avoid needlessly drawing attention to you, while enabling loved ones to focus on their mourning in simplicity and with the greatest respect for their family traditions.

A Diamond in the Image of the Deceased, for a Unique Souvenir

Forget the urn or headstone to commemorate the deceased and instead choose a diamond made from human ashes. Thanks to Algordanza*, this luxury option makes it possible to display this precious stone as a personalized jewel or to keep it in a case.

Algordanza: a luxury alternative to preserve the ashes of the deceased

In recent years, the distance between people has made travel more difficult and consequently, visits to the cemetery or columbarium are less frequent, thereby dulling the memory of the deceased. Algordanza was established in Switzerland in 2004 on the theme of remembrance and commemoration. The word “algordanza” comes from the fourth language of Switzerland, Rhaeto-Romansh, and means “remembrance”. Algordanza’s mission: to enable people who have lost a loved one to honour them in a distinguished and unique way through the transformation of ashes into a diamond.

At Algordanza, precision, respect and discretion are at the heart of the company’s values. Constantly growing, the company is now represented in more than 30 countries around the world. A symbol of luxury and quality, diamonds made with human ashes all come with an Algordanza certificate, attesting to the authenticity, weight, cut and colour of the precious stone.

How to turn human ashes into a diamond?

It is thanks to a machine heating up to 1400° Celsius that the bodies of the deceased are converted into ashes. The first step is to isolate the carbon, of which the human body is 20% composed. Of this percentage, 1-5% of carbon is heated at high temperature and high pressure, converting it into graphite. This substance will then be inserted into a starter diamond crystal to begin the conversion process, which can take several weeks, depending on the desired size of the stone. Once the process is completed, the starter crystal is removed to preserve the diamond thus created. The result: a bluish synthetic diamond, due to the substance called boron, contained in the human body. All the diamonds produced are hand-cut by an expert, giving them uniqueness and finesse.

If you would like to transform the deceased’s ashes into a diamond, contact us so that we can assist you in your efforts and, in so doing, enable you to obtain a diamond that will be very precious to you!

*In Canada, the Remembrance Diamonds Corporation distributes the Algordanza brand across the country.

Cremation or Incineration: Is it the Same?

For many people, cremation and incineration are two terms that have the same meaning. However, there are some subtleties as to the use of these two words that are important to know if you want to use them properly.

Incineration

Incineration is a technique to destroy detritus by fire, using an incinerator. It is therefore not appropriate to use this word in the funeral field to describe the act of burning a body. In fact, since this word applies more to waste, it may seem disrespectful to talk about incineration when referring to burning a body.

Developed in urban areas in the 1960s, incineration aims to remedy the lack of waste sorting in order to make composting and recycling possible. The word incineration is therefore often misused when it comes to incinerating a body.

Cremation

The term cremation is much more accurate for the action of burning a body to reduce it to ashes. The word cremation originates from the Latin word “cremare” and means to burn, quite simply. In order to reduce the body to ashes, it is placed in a coffin that will then be inserted in an oven heated to a temperature of 800°C. In this way, the body will pass from a solid state to a gaseous state, representing the action of sublimating a body. Once the body is reduced to ashes, these will be reduced to fine particles, which will then be placed in a cremation urn.

The distinction between the two words may indeed be minimal, but knowing the difference will enable you to use both terms properly. For more information about the cremation process, contact one of Crématorium Montréal‘s representatives, so that we can assist you and answer any questions you may have.

How to choose your urn?

For many, choosing an urn can appear somewhat trivial. Yet, since the urn you select is the last point of contact friends and family will have, it is important to give it proper thought, selecting an urn that truly represents who you are. Here are a few avenues that will help you make an enlightened choice reflecting your wishes and your needs.

Choice of materials

At the outset, it is important to note that urns can be produced from a wide range of materials. For an urn that is both modern and chic, you may want to consider marble or ceramic. Bronze, on the other hand, has a brilliance and lustre that lend a prestigious note. For the more ecologically conscious, biodegradable urns are also available. Produced by Urne Bio Canada, this type of urn holds a tree cutting for planting in the ground. As it is biodegradable, the urn decomposes, allowing a tree to grow and giving the deceased a second life. Another environmentally respectful option is also available: a sand urn. Created by Atelier Côtier, this type of urn is biodegradable and exudes a natural, refined quality. Urns also come in different shapes: rounded, square or cylindrical, the possibilities are virtually endless. Based on your budget, we can advise you on your urn’s materials and shape.

Urn’s destination

When making your decision, it is also important to take into account the urn’s ultimate destination. In fact, whether the urn is to be placed in a columbarium or kept at home can have a bearing on the selection of materials and their sturdiness. If the urn is to be placed in a columbarium, a sturdy and aesthetic urn is an interesting option. If you are planning to keep it at home, a more decorative urn will allow you to incorporate it into your décor, as it can constitute a decorative element. You can also opt for a personalized urn. This can be chosen when making prearrangements, in order to reflect the values and personality of the deceased.

Don’t hesitate to contact us for advice on your choice of an urn. We will be pleased to work with you.